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Our relationship, I note, has suffered because we don't spend enough time together (not surprising really, since she doesn't exist).

I reply, telling her to come over and ask me face to face. She looks furtively around and asks me if I'm nervous. There is tension in the air like North and South Korea coming together to hammer out a treaty.But it claims to have more than 100,000 members in the UK.Many of them are middle-class, many have young children.She has declined to tell me her name, so I have to think of her as her web sobriquet.This is how I find myself waiting for "Sophia Loren".

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